It's been a really busy weekend and I have not read my 941-page patent coz I simply refuse to plug my thumbdrive into my com... Wahaha...Thinking of work, I feel stressed and tired and I need a BREAK terribly!
This weekend started off with a good swim yesterday morning, felt so great after that, then went for my tuition and had a bad session again :( I didn't mean to lose my patience but at the rate that things are going, I'm really worried for my tutee. I'm worried that he might not be able to promote to sec 4, I'm worried about his future! Sigh... Recently my 2 tutees have shifted to a much bigger house, a 3-storey terrace house but they both don't seem happy about it. It appears that to them, a bigger house means more emptiness and loneliness, especially when there's no one else's at home. That's the sad part which many parents don't understand. They thought that by getting a much bigger house for the family, the kids will be happier, having more space to run about and to play around. However, they only consider the material needs of the kids but have neglected their emotional needs. Both my kids told me that they love their old houses, though it was smaller. They feel very lonely and are scared to be left alone in the big empty house. That's so sad! Parents nowadays are only focusing on the provision of their kids' material needs but have neglected their emotional needs. I really wonder what's going to happen to the future generations?
Anyway, tried another round of 'talking & counselling', hoping that I'll be able to help my boy. Really don't wish to see him retaining :(
Haha...bought new swim suit coz RSH having a discount. Wahaha...spent again :( Quite a busy morning then before meeting up with Rain. Brought her to TMC for boardgames and wanna make my contribution to the publicity of nbc. So sorry to LLT. Sorry that I didn't help much. Can understand the kind of pressure that you are under, where it seems like no one is doing his stuff and you are left all alone. It's a shitty feeling I know as I've been through that too. But don't give up, never! I know this coming month gonna be real tough for you, but you gotta hang on there & we are definitely all behind you. Time for me to loan my listening ears and my helping hands. But don't be so dao & unfriendly, pls... How can you follow my style? Haha.. I thought only I PMS when I'm stressed/depressed? Ahhaa
Yesterday evening was completed with a choco fondue, Muthu's curry & the midnite movie 'The fast & the furious Tokyo Drift'. A sinful and tiring day! Haha...but a worthy one coz Rain felt beta I think. Heez... Dear Rain, cheer up, k?
Today I was so tired coz gotta get up early to blade with my frds at ECP. In the end so sotong to have missed my busstop & gotta walk for a gd 30mins to reach ECP. But then, it was a good exercise after a sinful indulge last nite. Haha... had a gd time blading coz I din fall! My frd came down to join us for lunch coz he's real bored. Haha...in the end kana summon...Poor thing :( Went to Yee's house for a catch up after that. Haha...a real nice day but time passes so fast, tmr's Monday :(
Anyway, everyone JIA YOU,k? Hope my bad mood's not affecting people around me too much. (",)
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
I need a PERK UP!
It's weekend! But I'm neither feeling excited nor am I looking forward to it. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AGAIN? PMS-ing? I'm feeling listless... I've turned down all my dates, coz I felt that I need a jog, something heart-pumping & will make me sweat in order to make me feel better. But I was quite sian and tired to the extent that I didn't feel like jogging either. ARGHHhh...nothing that I do now seems to perk me up. No food that I eat, no things that I buy seems to make me happy. How? I think I'm sinking into depression mode again and I hate myself for that now! Someone help me please!!!
My life seems scary to me now, so aimless. I feel like a walking corpse when I go to work everyday. Counting down to my deadline...left only 4 weeks and I'm still stuck with the 1st synthetic step when I got 5 steps to do :( I hate it! I don't detest failure but I hate uncertainty, vagueness... Boss has been pressurising me so much now! He's driving me mad!! I can feel my grey hair growing liao... If things not ready in 4 weeks time, he said his head gonna rolled down from the 8th to the ground floor of my office building. I guess before that happens he'll see my body on the ground floor... Wahaha...Die lar, I've brought back my 941-page long patent to read this weekend, & my report not even touched yet! BONKUS liao... :(
Life sucks so much now & I've never had such feelings before. I think the next time my friends see me will be at IMH....ahaha... Ok pals, no worries...I'm still smiling & laughing alot lately...so I'll be fine... =p
I just need to complain to people, do more crazy things and I think I'll feel better. Now I feel really miserable if I don't talk to people, don't go out with friends. Sigh...how can a sagi's life be so sad, huh?
Sigh...How I wish I can find a 'golden tortise', get married and everyday have hi-tea with my tai-tai kakis now -_-^ *My colls & I have been discussing alot about this lately* Wahaha.... Okok, time to wake up from this daydream!
After nearly 2 years in R&D, it's time for me consider if I should continue in this field. Frankly speaking, I love this workplace, be it the people or the job, tremendously. I like it coz it's almost political-free and my colls & I get along quite well. But I know that in the long run, I won't be able to go far in this field with just a degree. Ya lor, degree holders can only wash testtubes in R&D. Even a masters holder will just be a testtube washer supervisor. So sad, rite? Thinking if I should move into manufacturing or be out of this chemical field.. Sigh.. I enjoy the fun of chemistry, coz benchwork is so much more fun than desk-bound job! I seriously can't take desk-bound jobs coz I'll doze off for sure, just like what I often did in cinema. Wahaha... Many friends have also urged me to further my studies.. should I? But i dun want end up getting Permanent Head Damage (PhD), think it's already badly damaged enough by my present work stress... Haha...
Well, the main worry is that I think the 3-4 years of studentship might be quite tormenting for me. I'm terrified! Imagine staying in research lab form 8am-8pm, 6 days a week. Sunday will probably be a day spent at home reading journals? Crazy, rite? I scared my life will no longer be called a life if I do PhD. No entertainment, no friends, no play... I'll die... Anyway, still got at least a year to think things through, to decide the direction I wanna go in... :)
My life seems scary to me now, so aimless. I feel like a walking corpse when I go to work everyday. Counting down to my deadline...left only 4 weeks and I'm still stuck with the 1st synthetic step when I got 5 steps to do :( I hate it! I don't detest failure but I hate uncertainty, vagueness... Boss has been pressurising me so much now! He's driving me mad!! I can feel my grey hair growing liao... If things not ready in 4 weeks time, he said his head gonna rolled down from the 8th to the ground floor of my office building. I guess before that happens he'll see my body on the ground floor... Wahaha...Die lar, I've brought back my 941-page long patent to read this weekend, & my report not even touched yet! BONKUS liao... :(
Life sucks so much now & I've never had such feelings before. I think the next time my friends see me will be at IMH....ahaha... Ok pals, no worries...I'm still smiling & laughing alot lately...so I'll be fine... =p
I just need to complain to people, do more crazy things and I think I'll feel better. Now I feel really miserable if I don't talk to people, don't go out with friends. Sigh...how can a sagi's life be so sad, huh?
Sigh...How I wish I can find a 'golden tortise', get married and everyday have hi-tea with my tai-tai kakis now -_-^ *My colls & I have been discussing alot about this lately* Wahaha.... Okok, time to wake up from this daydream!
After nearly 2 years in R&D, it's time for me consider if I should continue in this field. Frankly speaking, I love this workplace, be it the people or the job, tremendously. I like it coz it's almost political-free and my colls & I get along quite well. But I know that in the long run, I won't be able to go far in this field with just a degree. Ya lor, degree holders can only wash testtubes in R&D. Even a masters holder will just be a testtube washer supervisor. So sad, rite? Thinking if I should move into manufacturing or be out of this chemical field.. Sigh.. I enjoy the fun of chemistry, coz benchwork is so much more fun than desk-bound job! I seriously can't take desk-bound jobs coz I'll doze off for sure, just like what I often did in cinema. Wahaha... Many friends have also urged me to further my studies.. should I? But i dun want end up getting Permanent Head Damage (PhD), think it's already badly damaged enough by my present work stress... Haha...
Well, the main worry is that I think the 3-4 years of studentship might be quite tormenting for me. I'm terrified! Imagine staying in research lab form 8am-8pm, 6 days a week. Sunday will probably be a day spent at home reading journals? Crazy, rite? I scared my life will no longer be called a life if I do PhD. No entertainment, no friends, no play... I'll die... Anyway, still got at least a year to think things through, to decide the direction I wanna go in... :)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Special Thanks...
Just wanna say a big THANK YOU to you for listening to me and keeping me company, lost twin! U know who you are. Haha =p
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
A good day, starting afresh again!
I've been blogging quite oftenly lately coz I wasn't in much mood to talk to people, this is probably the best channel that I can keep my good friends informed about me. Heez...
No worries, after a short but nice swim yesterday, I'm already feeling alot better, mentally and physically =p
Will keep my pms-ing to a minimum, I promise. Ahaha... Well, swimming is really therapeutic for me, I love the quietness and serenity in the pool. It always help to clear my mind, relieve me from tiredness, be it mental or physical. Haha... So I'm feeling ok now, friends! :) But I still got 5 more weeks of stress at work, over my present project, hope I'll tide over this tough period of time. Must really JIA YOU!!! Maybe more frequent swims will do the trick! Ahahahaa
Yest supposed to meet my dear Missy for dinner. Longing to meet up with each other, especially when we are both stressed up & exhausted with work and personal life. But dear Missy is always so busy, that she had to call me during her 15-mins of toilet break yest evening... Poor gal :(
*I heard lots of flushing and washing going on in the background* Oppz...the details shall be sensored **** =)
Dear missy wasn't able to meet me for dinner yest nite, but I was ok with it, coz my stomach couldn't take it already... I was pathetically hungry & had started hunting for food at home when she called me. Haha... so hungry coz I only had 2 baos from my new lunch favourite, 7-11, yest. Sad leh, cold lunch.. I hate cold & lonely lunches now! I miss eating with my colls!!! Anyway, back to my conversation with dear Missy. Dear Missy was still not done with her stuff and it was too late to meet up for dinner, I know she's tired too. Well, stress and exhaustion have lowered our tolerence threshold by folds, so dear Missy is kinda worried that we'll end up pissing each other off. Wahhaha...I simply laughed it off and reassure dear Missy that it won't happen coz we are well aware of our low tolerence level now, we won't push above the limits lah. Dear Missy agreed, and we met up! =p
At 1st we already agreed to go Soup Spoon, but dear Missy wanna change to Bishan. After much pacification, she relented, and we met at cityhall as planned. Ahaha...coz I told her I've already thought of what soup to drink, so cannot disappoint me else I'll start PMSing! Haha.. But dear Missy abit blur oso, left things in office, so we met at cityhall yet gotta go back to Raffles Place to drink soup ^-^' We had a real great heart-to-heart talk, about anything, about our friendship, our understanding and our misunderstanding. Yup, our 13 years of friendship has already come such a long way! Really treasure this friendship, though at times it seems abit shaky, but I know now, we have a better understanding of each other. Wish that this sort understanding will extend to my other 2 "gang members". I'm definitely someone who treasure friendships dearly, and I hope that the friendship among us will stay strong ;)
No worries, after a short but nice swim yesterday, I'm already feeling alot better, mentally and physically =p
Will keep my pms-ing to a minimum, I promise. Ahaha... Well, swimming is really therapeutic for me, I love the quietness and serenity in the pool. It always help to clear my mind, relieve me from tiredness, be it mental or physical. Haha... So I'm feeling ok now, friends! :) But I still got 5 more weeks of stress at work, over my present project, hope I'll tide over this tough period of time. Must really JIA YOU!!! Maybe more frequent swims will do the trick! Ahahahaa
Yest supposed to meet my dear Missy for dinner. Longing to meet up with each other, especially when we are both stressed up & exhausted with work and personal life. But dear Missy is always so busy, that she had to call me during her 15-mins of toilet break yest evening... Poor gal :(
*I heard lots of flushing and washing going on in the background* Oppz...the details shall be sensored **** =)
Dear missy wasn't able to meet me for dinner yest nite, but I was ok with it, coz my stomach couldn't take it already... I was pathetically hungry & had started hunting for food at home when she called me. Haha... so hungry coz I only had 2 baos from my new lunch favourite, 7-11, yest. Sad leh, cold lunch.. I hate cold & lonely lunches now! I miss eating with my colls!!! Anyway, back to my conversation with dear Missy. Dear Missy was still not done with her stuff and it was too late to meet up for dinner, I know she's tired too. Well, stress and exhaustion have lowered our tolerence threshold by folds, so dear Missy is kinda worried that we'll end up pissing each other off. Wahhaha...I simply laughed it off and reassure dear Missy that it won't happen coz we are well aware of our low tolerence level now, we won't push above the limits lah. Dear Missy agreed, and we met up! =p
At 1st we already agreed to go Soup Spoon, but dear Missy wanna change to Bishan. After much pacification, she relented, and we met at cityhall as planned. Ahaha...coz I told her I've already thought of what soup to drink, so cannot disappoint me else I'll start PMSing! Haha.. But dear Missy abit blur oso, left things in office, so we met at cityhall yet gotta go back to Raffles Place to drink soup ^-^' We had a real great heart-to-heart talk, about anything, about our friendship, our understanding and our misunderstanding. Yup, our 13 years of friendship has already come such a long way! Really treasure this friendship, though at times it seems abit shaky, but I know now, we have a better understanding of each other. Wish that this sort understanding will extend to my other 2 "gang members". I'm definitely someone who treasure friendships dearly, and I hope that the friendship among us will stay strong ;)
Monday, July 24, 2006
Is there something wrong with my life now?
I dunno if it's that I've changed or things and people around me have changed lately. Or probably I should say that things and people around me have been this way all along, just that my recent high stress level has lowered my tolerence threshold towards people and things. Sigh... :(
My worries...lots of them... from helping my friend in securing a job, settling friends' friendship and relationship problems, consoling them, advise them, settle their disputes. Gotta make sure that my dear niece is doing ok and not going astray after her dropout, manage my family problems, counselling my tutee, and of all, MY WORK which is the main killer for now! There's so many things to do but so little time. And how about time for myself? Haha... Only sleep hours bah
Today I had a really good chat with Zhen, talked alot, mainly I talked though, and she listened. Feeling alot better after talking to her.
Heez.. Thanks so much for listening to my rubbish, my dear! she knows how tired I've been feeling lately, think it can be clearly seen from my big eyebags! Now my eyebags are already bigger than my eyes!!! So sad leh ;'(
True enough that many people said that I got many friends. But in fact, not many truely understand me I think. I really appreciate those who have been with me, supporting me, encouraging me and cheering me up during this period of time. Really a big THANK YOU to you guys!! I guess this is really the 1st time in my 23+ years to experience such serious depression, but it's also now that I truly realised who are the really great friends of mine.
To those whom I have somehow neglected during this period of time, I'm really sorry. I hope that I'll get back to my normal self ASAP! Cheers~~
My worries...lots of them... from helping my friend in securing a job, settling friends' friendship and relationship problems, consoling them, advise them, settle their disputes. Gotta make sure that my dear niece is doing ok and not going astray after her dropout, manage my family problems, counselling my tutee, and of all, MY WORK which is the main killer for now! There's so many things to do but so little time. And how about time for myself? Haha... Only sleep hours bah
Today I had a really good chat with Zhen, talked alot, mainly I talked though, and she listened. Feeling alot better after talking to her.
Heez.. Thanks so much for listening to my rubbish, my dear! she knows how tired I've been feeling lately, think it can be clearly seen from my big eyebags! Now my eyebags are already bigger than my eyes!!! So sad leh ;'(
True enough that many people said that I got many friends. But in fact, not many truely understand me I think. I really appreciate those who have been with me, supporting me, encouraging me and cheering me up during this period of time. Really a big THANK YOU to you guys!! I guess this is really the 1st time in my 23+ years to experience such serious depression, but it's also now that I truly realised who are the really great friends of mine.
To those whom I have somehow neglected during this period of time, I'm really sorry. I hope that I'll get back to my normal self ASAP! Cheers~~
Monday, July 17, 2006
To Someone who's so near yet so far away from us...
Had a great but tiring weekend meeting up with friends, celebrating b'dae & vsiting Chek Jawa. So I'm now like a walking corpse...
Today's the 100th day since my dearest aunt passed away, really miss her :'( Have been thinking of her these few days. All the fond memories of her just kept flowing back and I feel as though she's still around. No matter what, I know that life has to go on for all of us. I just hope that she is well & happy in the other world :)
Today's the 100th day since my dearest aunt passed away, really miss her :'( Have been thinking of her these few days. All the fond memories of her just kept flowing back and I feel as though she's still around. No matter what, I know that life has to go on for all of us. I just hope that she is well & happy in the other world :)
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Having last bit of energy to blog...
I'm tired, exhausted but feel like blogging/complaining abit about my life tonite! Thought that after a business-cum-leisure trip to Beijing/Hong Kong I'll feel more refreshed & recharged but I'm wrong. I think I'm feeling more tired than before my trip. Sigh... Now I think it's a luxury to enjoy a day rotting at home, without doing any other activities. Haha...
Sigh.. so many deadlines to meet for work, dunno if I'll be dead before I even meet the deadlines Ahaha...Tahan tahan... 1.5 months to go before my project ends. Yup,sadly, 1.5 months is not short leh & it's almost a one-man show for this project (that's me only!) Sigh..alrite, shouldn't be so negative!
"Always look on the bright side of life!" =p
Sigh.. so many deadlines to meet for work, dunno if I'll be dead before I even meet the deadlines Ahaha...Tahan tahan... 1.5 months to go before my project ends. Yup,sadly, 1.5 months is not short leh & it's almost a one-man show for this project (that's me only!) Sigh..alrite, shouldn't be so negative!
"Always look on the bright side of life!" =p
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