Such a short session! I want more!!!

Slept at almost 2am this morning yet got up at 6+am & can't get to sleep already. All my biological clock's fault! Now I still feel tired... Anyway, good to get up early on a Sat morning, no tuition... Heez.. But decided to give jogging & swimming a miss so that I can pack my room. Well, my mama has been nagging at me to do so :S

Feeling happier this weekend, or probably should say that certain things in life simply cannot be understood & are not within our means to control. So indeed, this stressful & depression period is really a good learning journey for me. Yesh! I'm getting back to my optimistic self! :)

Yest was 1 of the few times that I felt like OT-ing til midnite. Sounds crazy, rite? Coz there's this experimient that I was doing and I felt really anxious to c if it works. If it does, it means that my hardwork for the last 2 months have not gone to waste! But hp kept beeping & ringing coz I'm supposed to meet my gals at 6.30pm for a bdae celebration. And another group of pals going to get a blated bdae present for HD. Yet I was still in lab at that time! I wish I can split myself up into 3!! Anyway, I was too engrossed with my work then, din bother to reply or pick up the calls. Hha...Sorry pals..

Thou I often complain about my bossy, he's in fact a really sweet boss & definitely 1 whom I can be frank with. Ya, that's nice about working with ang mohs, they are more willing to accept comments, good and bad ones. Told bossy that I'm losing my motivation, it's like searching for a needle in the haystack. But in the 1st place, is there any needle in the haystack? Ahaha...DUNNO!!! Think should have, coz others have searched before. So y can't I find it?? Anyway, bossy remember my nice big bossy, oh yah, my so-called godfather, saying that he has to keep us smiling if not he'll be in deep trouble. Well, my big bossy dotes on us, especially since RH & I were trained by him personally. Bossy has been trying to keep me smiling, & asked RH to keep me smiling too (I asked RH to dance for me to make me smile & indeed she danced! Ahaha...*MUACKS*). Think these words r sufficient to keep me smiling & work on. Heez~~ Yah, bossy even stayed on to wait for me to finish up my work, he won't leave me alone I know. So I can't even stay til midnite or come back on weekend even if I wanted to. Thanks & I felt so blessed! :) I hope to see some good results on Mon!!!

Yah, I was pretty late for the bdae-ktv celebration, no time for dinner either so could only grab some bun & tu-tu kueh. Not very satisfying thou, coz lunch had a sandwich only (no time...). Anyway, it was a fun session, such a rare meetup with all 7 of us, but w/o sea cucumber, who's still MIA in Aust :(
Well, I'm now stepping down as an organiser for meetups, this round 'de has been tasked to organise, I jz wanna be a follower.. But in d end I still gotta step in hor, to settle d present. Y it always seem like only I know what my pals want? Sigh... Anyway, happy that Min loves the watch, & she had a really great evening yest, so did we. Evil 'de! Made me sing a duet alone, then I gotta jaga both male & female parts?! :'(
But it's such a short session, we got lotz of catchups to do but no time. Anyway, Cat said she'll fix the next gathering, hope it'll be some time real soon! =p

Wah, a really long entry today...but I'm just going to continue.. Haha...

Another happy thing is that 'de got the job which I recommended! Congrats, my dear!!! Now I got 2 new lunch kakis liao. Haha... So good! But hopefully I'll have the time to go out for lunch :)
'de's happy too (coz got eye candies THERE? haha) but can't bear to close down her Do-nothing-but-rot club. How can you be like that? Almost a year alr, u know? U know how much effort I've gone into searching jobs for u? So u beta work hard, at least for my Rochester treat next month. Haha.. No lah, I help u but don't ask for anything in return, so long as u r happy working, even a treat at hawker centre is good enough :)

Tired, just wanna a relax weekend now. Look forward to tmr's skating carnival! Cheerios~~




P.S. Wah, U r really my LLT! U know I'm in a better mood now, still stressed thou. Heez..

Am I incompetent?

Left 3.5 weeks, to the deadline & hopefully to my freedom not death day... Well, still struggling to stay afloat, stressed but no longer feeling depressed, no worries. Stress is definitely unavoidable at this point of the project. Tired, tired... But I'm disciplined not to take MC or leave til next month. Haha.. luckily next wednesday is PUBLIC HOLIDAY!! Hooray!!! Actually to me now, it means less 1 working day to finish my tasks. Sigh.. :( I've become such a workaholic now!

I really wonder why the things didn't work as we hope for. Is it that I'm incompetent or the things just don't work? I start to wonder if the problems lie with me. I feel so helpless and lonely fighting a almost solo war. Boss always tell me "NEVER GIVE UP'!
But he's going to abandon me for the next 2 weeks. ARGHHHhhh... I can't wait for this torturous period to be over soon!

Weekend's over soon ....

It's been a really busy weekend and I have not read my 941-page patent coz I simply refuse to plug my thumbdrive into my com... Wahaha...Thinking of work, I feel stressed and tired and I need a BREAK terribly!

This weekend started off with a good swim yesterday morning, felt so great after that, then went for my tuition and had a bad session again :( I didn't mean to lose my patience but at the rate that things are going, I'm really worried for my tutee. I'm worried that he might not be able to promote to sec 4, I'm worried about his future! Sigh... Recently my 2 tutees have shifted to a much bigger house, a 3-storey terrace house but they both don't seem happy about it. It appears that to them, a bigger house means more emptiness and loneliness, especially when there's no one else's at home. That's the sad part which many parents don't understand. They thought that by getting a much bigger house for the family, the kids will be happier, having more space to run about and to play around. However, they only consider the material needs of the kids but have neglected their emotional needs. Both my kids told me that they love their old houses, though it was smaller. They feel very lonely and are scared to be left alone in the big empty house. That's so sad! Parents nowadays are only focusing on the provision of their kids' material needs but have neglected their emotional needs. I really wonder what's going to happen to the future generations?

Anyway, tried another round of 'talking & counselling', hoping that I'll be able to help my boy. Really don't wish to see him retaining :(

Haha...bought new swim suit coz RSH having a discount. Wahaha...spent again :( Quite a busy morning then before meeting up with Rain. Brought her to TMC for boardgames and wanna make my contribution to the publicity of nbc. So sorry to LLT. Sorry that I didn't help much. Can understand the kind of pressure that you are under, where it seems like no one is doing his stuff and you are left all alone. It's a shitty feeling I know as I've been through that too. But don't give up, never! I know this coming month gonna be real tough for you, but you gotta hang on there & we are definitely all behind you. Time for me to loan my listening ears and my helping hands. But don't be so dao & unfriendly, pls... How can you follow my style? Haha.. I thought only I PMS when I'm stressed/depressed? Ahhaa

Yesterday evening was completed with a choco fondue, Muthu's curry & the midnite movie 'The fast & the furious Tokyo Drift'. A sinful and tiring day! Haha...but a worthy one coz Rain felt beta I think. Heez... Dear Rain, cheer up, k?

Today I was so tired coz gotta get up early to blade with my frds at ECP. In the end so sotong to have missed my busstop & gotta walk for a gd 30mins to reach ECP. But then, it was a good exercise after a sinful indulge last nite. Haha... had a gd time blading coz I din fall! My frd came down to join us for lunch coz he's real bored. Haha...in the end kana summon...Poor thing :( Went to Yee's house for a catch up after that. Haha...a real nice day but time passes so fast, tmr's Monday :(

Anyway, everyone JIA YOU,k? Hope my bad mood's not affecting people around me too much. (",)

I need a PERK UP!

It's weekend! But I'm neither feeling excited nor am I looking forward to it. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AGAIN? PMS-ing? I'm feeling listless... I've turned down all my dates, coz I felt that I need a jog, something heart-pumping & will make me sweat in order to make me feel better. But I was quite sian and tired to the extent that I didn't feel like jogging either. ARGHHhh...nothing that I do now seems to perk me up. No food that I eat, no things that I buy seems to make me happy. How? I think I'm sinking into depression mode again and I hate myself for that now! Someone help me please!!!

My life seems scary to me now, so aimless. I feel like a walking corpse when I go to work everyday. Counting down to my deadline...left only 4 weeks and I'm still stuck with the 1st synthetic step when I got 5 steps to do :( I hate it! I don't detest failure but I hate uncertainty, vagueness... Boss has been pressurising me so much now! He's driving me mad!! I can feel my grey hair growing liao... If things not ready in 4 weeks time, he said his head gonna rolled down from the 8th to the ground floor of my office building. I guess before that happens he'll see my body on the ground floor... Wahaha...Die lar, I've brought back my 941-page long patent to read this weekend, & my report not even touched yet! BONKUS liao... :(

Life sucks so much now & I've never had such feelings before. I think the next time my friends see me will be at IMH....ahaha... Ok pals, no worries...I'm still smiling & laughing alot lately...so I'll be fine... =p

I just need to complain to people, do more crazy things and I think I'll feel better. Now I feel really miserable if I don't talk to people, don't go out with friends. Sigh...how can a sagi's life be so sad, huh?

Sigh...How I wish I can find a 'golden tortise', get married and everyday have hi-tea with my tai-tai kakis now -_-^ *My colls & I have been discussing alot about this lately* Wahaha.... Okok, time to wake up from this daydream!

After nearly 2 years in R&D, it's time for me consider if I should continue in this field. Frankly speaking, I love this workplace, be it the people or the job, tremendously. I like it coz it's almost political-free and my colls & I get along quite well. But I know that in the long run, I won't be able to go far in this field with just a degree. Ya lor, degree holders can only wash testtubes in R&D. Even a masters holder will just be a testtube washer supervisor. So sad, rite? Thinking if I should move into manufacturing or be out of this chemical field.. Sigh.. I enjoy the fun of chemistry, coz benchwork is so much more fun than desk-bound job! I seriously can't take desk-bound jobs coz I'll doze off for sure, just like what I often did in cinema. Wahaha... Many friends have also urged me to further my studies.. should I? But i dun want end up getting Permanent Head Damage (PhD), think it's already badly damaged enough by my present work stress... Haha...
Well, the main worry is that I think the 3-4 years of studentship might be quite tormenting for me. I'm terrified! Imagine staying in research lab form 8am-8pm, 6 days a week. Sunday will probably be a day spent at home reading journals? Crazy, rite? I scared my life will no longer be called a life if I do PhD. No entertainment, no friends, no play... I'll die... Anyway, still got at least a year to think things through, to decide the direction I wanna go in... :)

Special Thanks...

Just wanna say a big THANK YOU to you for listening to me and keeping me company, lost twin! U know who you are. Haha =p

A good day, starting afresh again!

I've been blogging quite oftenly lately coz I wasn't in much mood to talk to people, this is probably the best channel that I can keep my good friends informed about me. Heez...

No worries, after a short but nice swim yesterday, I'm already feeling alot better, mentally and physically =p
Will keep my pms-ing to a minimum, I promise. Ahaha... Well, swimming is really therapeutic for me, I love the quietness and serenity in the pool. It always help to clear my mind, relieve me from tiredness, be it mental or physical. Haha... So I'm feeling ok now, friends! :) But I still got 5 more weeks of stress at work, over my present project, hope I'll tide over this tough period of time. Must really JIA YOU!!! Maybe more frequent swims will do the trick! Ahahahaa

Yest supposed to meet my dear Missy for dinner. Longing to meet up with each other, especially when we are both stressed up & exhausted with work and personal life. But dear Missy is always so busy, that she had to call me during her 15-mins of toilet break yest evening... Poor gal :(
*I heard lots of flushing and washing going on in the background* Oppz...the details shall be sensored **** =)

Dear missy wasn't able to meet me for dinner yest nite, but I was ok with it, coz my stomach couldn't take it already... I was pathetically hungry & had started hunting for food at home when she called me. Haha... so hungry coz I only had 2 baos from my new lunch favourite, 7-11, yest. Sad leh, cold lunch.. I hate cold & lonely lunches now! I miss eating with my colls!!! Anyway, back to my conversation with dear Missy. Dear Missy was still not done with her stuff and it was too late to meet up for dinner, I know she's tired too. Well, stress and exhaustion have lowered our tolerence threshold by folds, so dear Missy is kinda worried that we'll end up pissing each other off. Wahhaha...I simply laughed it off and reassure dear Missy that it won't happen coz we are well aware of our low tolerence level now, we won't push above the limits lah. Dear Missy agreed, and we met up! =p

At 1st we already agreed to go Soup Spoon, but dear Missy wanna change to Bishan. After much pacification, she relented, and we met at cityhall as planned. Ahaha...coz I told her I've already thought of what soup to drink, so cannot disappoint me else I'll start PMSing! Haha.. But dear Missy abit blur oso, left things in office, so we met at cityhall yet gotta go back to Raffles Place to drink soup ^-^' We had a real great heart-to-heart talk, about anything, about our friendship, our understanding and our misunderstanding. Yup, our 13 years of friendship has already come such a long way! Really treasure this friendship, though at times it seems abit shaky, but I know now, we have a better understanding of each other. Wish that this sort understanding will extend to my other 2 "gang members". I'm definitely someone who treasure friendships dearly, and I hope that the friendship among us will stay strong ;)

Is there something wrong with my life now?

I dunno if it's that I've changed or things and people around me have changed lately. Or probably I should say that things and people around me have been this way all along, just that my recent high stress level has lowered my tolerence threshold towards people and things. Sigh... :(

My worries...lots of them... from helping my friend in securing a job, settling friends' friendship and relationship problems, consoling them, advise them, settle their disputes. Gotta make sure that my dear niece is doing ok and not going astray after her dropout, manage my family problems, counselling my tutee, and of all, MY WORK which is the main killer for now! There's so many things to do but so little time. And how about time for myself? Haha... Only sleep hours bah

Today I had a really good chat with Zhen, talked alot, mainly I talked though, and she listened. Feeling alot better after talking to her.
Heez.. Thanks so much for listening to my rubbish, my dear! she knows how tired I've been feeling lately, think it can be clearly seen from my big eyebags! Now my eyebags are already bigger than my eyes!!! So sad leh ;'(

True enough that many people said that I got many friends. But in fact, not many truely understand me I think. I really appreciate those who have been with me, supporting me, encouraging me and cheering me up during this period of time. Really a big THANK YOU to you guys!! I guess this is really the 1st time in my 23+ years to experience such serious depression, but it's also now that I truly realised who are the really great friends of mine.

To those whom I have somehow neglected during this period of time, I'm really sorry. I hope that I'll get back to my normal self ASAP! Cheers~~

To Someone who's so near yet so far away from us...

Had a great but tiring weekend meeting up with friends, celebrating b'dae & vsiting Chek Jawa. So I'm now like a walking corpse...

Today's the 100th day since my dearest aunt passed away, really miss her :'( Have been thinking of her these few days. All the fond memories of her just kept flowing back and I feel as though she's still around. No matter what, I know that life has to go on for all of us. I just hope that she is well & happy in the other world :)

Having last bit of energy to blog...

I'm tired, exhausted but feel like blogging/complaining abit about my life tonite! Thought that after a business-cum-leisure trip to Beijing/Hong Kong I'll feel more refreshed & recharged but I'm wrong. I think I'm feeling more tired than before my trip. Sigh... Now I think it's a luxury to enjoy a day rotting at home, without doing any other activities. Haha...

Sigh.. so many deadlines to meet for work, dunno if I'll be dead before I even meet the deadlines Ahaha...Tahan tahan... 1.5 months to go before my project ends. Yup,sadly, 1.5 months is not short leh & it's almost a one-man show for this project (that's me only!) Sigh..alrite, shouldn't be so negative!

"Always look on the bright side of life!" =p

What Have I done AGAIN?!

Sigh.. Think I've somehow, unknowingly, or I should say innocently upset/ made my friend angry. Really, not my fault what! I've told a couple of friends, guys & gals, they gave me the same answer," No worries, you not at fault!" Yeah, I felt truely relieved and glad that third-parties think I'm at no fault. But clear enough, her MSN nick has indicated that she's disappointed and upset coz I so-called "fly her aeroplane" by not joining her for an activity. In the 1st place, I DID NOT promise her anything. Really...How?? Sigh...this is not the 1st time that we have misunderstanding. But, it always turn out that it seems like my fault which I choose to differ(from her view only, coz no other people think I'm wrong leh). To salvage the friendship, I'm always the 1 who apologises. Thou i didn't feel it's my fault, especially this time round. I'm getting sick & tired of it. ARGHHHHHHHH

Monday...To feel blue or not?

Another tiring day, don't feel like doing anything but blog tonite, but I can't. Got a presentation next Tuesday, so gotta start preparing the slides tonite ;'( Yeah, gotta push myself a little harder!

Have been slacking,really slacking every since my Taipei trip. Haven't been jogging for a while, wanted to go for a jog this evening but have muscle ache all over my body now as a result of the gym workout yesterday. Yesterday I was pretty energetic leh, didn't feel like leaving the gym but zhen was tired, so we left. Anyway, we stayed there for some 2.5hrs by then. Haha... No wonder muscle ache today ;( Ok, gotta push myself to jog sometime this week =p

Yah, was talking about slacking, ya, not did I slack and not exercise, I've slacked at work and other stuff too. Strangely, somehow not much motivation to do things. Or have I lost the direction in life? Probably after nearly 1.5 years of working, this sort of life has became too monotonous or what. I wanna find out the reason too. What's wrong with me?? Ok, yah, looking for interesting stuff to spice up the boring work life. Hmm...I'm not saying that my work is boring, I still enjoy it alot. But somehow, lack of zest. Yah, I'm someone who gets bored easily! Haha.. There's actually lots of things out there which I wanna try. Like diving, blading, wakeboarding, rock climbing, kayaking, playing piano, learning languages. I'm a greedy gal too! heezz...

Ok, I should take a bath & start working on my presentation. Gotta give it the best shot!!! =p

Taken for Granted

Arghh!!! Network problem & I've lost the blog entry which I've just created. Now I gotta retype them ;'(

So I'm back with my latest entry. Not really an update on what I've been doing lately, but more of a means to vent my frustration lately. Yah, told my friends that I'm PMSing now! Haha...

Yesterday night I was chatting with some friends on MSN and I got pretty grouchy. Complained to them how I felt that I've been taken for granted. Sigh...not just @ work, with friends too... I simply think that these people are not sensitive enough to others' feelings, sometimes I also feel that they are abit too self-centred. They are only concerned with getting their things done, and along the way, mishandled the situation and ended up upsetting people around. As for me, I always (at least most of the time) have others' interest above my own's. I know that I can't expect everyone to do likewise, but all I'm asking for is some basic courtesy and mutual respect. Simple words like 'please', 'thank you' and 'sorry' will really make a big difference to others' live without you yourself realising it. Ya, these words do "play magic", such simple words yet so powerful I think.

If everyone's a little more thoughtful, sensitive and respectful, I guess there'll be much lesser conflicts among humans! =p

Re-evaluating Life...

The past few days have been pretty tiring, not just for me but for my entire family as we have to travel between AMK and Tampines to attend my aunt's wake. The entire religious procession was simple but everyone there was heavyhearted. I can't help but to think about what happens after death. Yup, probably a morbid topic to many, but it's definitely an unavoidable part of life that each of us got to go through, at least and at most once, isn't it? I even told my sis that I wonder how a person feel at the moment before he/she passes away, will the person feel anything after death? But then, I know that no one really has an answer for that since it's not possible for a dead to become alive again, or at least with the present level of medical technology.

How about all the religious procession then? Does it really help the dead? No one has the answer again, I guess. Anyway, I think this is the best that the livings can do for the dead, at least according to chinese beliefs, it helps to peace the soul.

Having to come so close to a funeral procession again (the last one which I really attended was my gandma's funeral, some 14 years ago!) serves as a wake-up call for me and my family that strong family bonds and having quality family time are really important. It'll be too late if you only realise it after the person is gone.

In the last few days, I've noted how much my aunts and uncles have aged these years. And yup, my parents too. Especially my mama. She has worked so hard to keep the family tidy and organised (not my room thou! Hhaa...But I only have myself & sis to blame ;( )and to help out at my dad's stall. I can see wrinkles and tiredness on her face ;'( I would want my family, especially my parents, to be happier and stress-free!

Part of Life!

I've been telling people that this is a bad year, I mean it's a bad year for me. At least it's true for the last few months! Really 范了太岁？

First, it started off with a fever and bad cough during Chinese New Year, and it lasted for quite a while. Next suay thing which I can remember was probably my Taipei trip. A really nice trip except the part where I got rashes. Til now I'm still clueless as to which bug bite me! The rashes then went off and came back again after I stopped taking my medicine. ArghHH...but luckily it went off *for good, I hope!* after Mama made me some herbal tea. Mama's always the best doctor! haha~~

Still recovering from the shock that I've gotten last nite. My favourite aunt has just passed away last nite. Really sad, but I didn't cry. Can't remember when was the last time I cried, probably quite a while ago. My aunt's a very nice and friendly person. In fact, she had helped my family tremendously some years ago when my dad met with an accident. She would come over to my place to visit my dad as well as bring my dad to hospital for checkups together with my mum when she stayed in the east while we stay in the north. Unfortunately, the killer cervix cancer has taken her life. I've yet attended her wake, but I guess my tears will flow when I go.

Her departure was really sudden. Though I knew of her illness quite some time ago, I've also heard from my parents that her conditions had improved. Didn't know that it deteriorated again. Sigh.. Life's so unpredictable. Treasure your love ones, treat them well, show your love for them before it's too late. Papa's birthday's on this weekend. I really hope that he'll feel better by then. ;-)

Back from Taipei!! But I'm so unlucky! ;'(

Hey all, I'm back from my 8 days of eating, walking & eating in Taipei. The trip was fun! I'll update more on my trip when I'm more free. Still trying to sort out the 1000 over pieces of pictures we took. Tough task!!

These 2 days I got lots of time to do the sorting out of stuff and unpacking of my luggage. Not that I'm still on leave, but it's that I'm on 2 days of MC!! Don't know to rejoice over it or feel sad. But I'm definitely depressed whenever I look at my left arm. It's no different from an elephant's leg now coz it's so swollen and covered with rashes as compared with my right arm.

My Taipei trip was really good but I simply couldn't wait to fly back to Singapore coz the itchness on my left shoulder and arm is torturous and I couldn't wait to see a doctor. Afterall, on a foreign land, I'm not used to visiting the doctors in Taipei and would rather withstand the itchness & discomfort for a week before I can fly back to see the doctor in Sg. So my rashes just spreaded, from a small patch to the entire arm. It's scary manz!!! Howver, my plane only managed to touch down in Sg on Wednesday night, which means that I have to endure another night of agony before I can see the doc. This is the 1st time that I simply can't wait to see my doc. Haha...

Well, the doc was shocked to see my swollen left arm. So obvious! *But at 1st I thought it's because I've eaten too much in Taipei & has gained weight! Stupid me!!!* He suspected that I was biten by some insect or whatever creature, which then resulted in allergic reactions. Think that my skin's getting more sensitive ever since I started working as a chemist. Sigh.. I guess I got to make some plans to switch line or something ;-( The doc prescribed some strong antifungal cream and tablets for me. But if it still doesn't recover by tmr, I gotta go back for a jab. Haiz... as I'm typing now, I can really feel the itchness!! Waana scratch but can't, if not will have scars ;'(

So depressed now...hope I can be back to work by Monday.

Survival of the Fittest

Hooray!!! The crazy days of purification were finally over, at least for the moment. I've been working like nuts, doing OTs everyday, since last week, and at last, I've managed to clear all my reactions and paperwork. =p Yup, I know that work is endless, but this time round it's really a tough war to fight. And soon after I'm back from my Taipei trip, which begins tomorrow, I'll embarked on my new project and and at the same time clear up my old one. Life's getting tougher and tougher... But who cares?? Let me enjoy my next 8 days of stressful, fun-filled time in Taipei. YEAH YEAH!!! More updates when I'm back then Stay tuned!!! ;-)

Me!!!

Arena (known to self and others) cheerful, dependable, friendly	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, calm, caring, confident, extroverted, helpful, intelligent, kind, loving, mature, modest, organised, sensible, shy, spontaneous, trustworthy
Façade (known only to self) complex, idealistic, logical	Unknown (known to nobody) accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, clever, dignified, energetic, giving, happy, independent, ingenious, introverted, knowledgeable, nervous, observant, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sentimental, silly, sympathetic, tense, warm, wise, witty

All Percentages

able (25%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (25%) caring (50%) cheerful (50%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (25%) dependable (25%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (25%) friendly (25%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (25%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (50%) introverted (0%) kind (25%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (25%) mature (25%) modest (50%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (25%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (25%) sentimental (0%) shy (25%) silly (0%) spontaneous (25%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (25%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 16.3.2006, using data from 4 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view 'dre@'s full data.

我快崩溃了

The work these 2 weeks, this week especially, is driving me nuts. I've been working from 8+am til 7+pm almost everyday and my stuff are giving me lots of trouble. Damn. 我快疯了!!! I'm really exhausted, not so much physically but rather mentally. This seems to be the worst period in my 1.5 years on this job. Everything just doesn't seem to go the way I wanted. Sigh... 为什麽？I felt so demoralised, so incompetent. But luckily, things have turned for the better today. 我好开心！我终于 meet 了我的 deadline! Really got a great sense of achievement today!! Yoho!!!! Probably this is the realistic life of a researcher. Many failures, which are indeed very demoralising. But a single success is good enough to make up for all the sufferings and tortures undergone. Haha... I'm so happy & proud of myself today. 加油！！

I can't wait, I can't wait!!! 多六天就能飞往台北杜加了。I'm so excited!! But there's lots of things unsettled due to my busyness & lazyness. Haha..

Shopping Therapy...

Sigh, my previous blog entry was the first one that I've attempted to write in mandarin but it all turned out to be some arabic words. Sigh...I've spent so much time doing it, earned so many dark circles. Sad...Who knows how to solve it??

Anyway, past week has been stressful, I guess this coming week gonna be even more hectic. The deadline for my sample submission is 15th yet I'm still a step away from it. The final step is a tedious purification! Sigh...so gonna have packed lunches and OTs for next week. God bless! Praying hard that I get the quantity I need (*I consider myself as a free thinker thou, so which god should I pray to??!!*)

Today has been a pretty "rushy" day. My journey: YCK ->Yishun ->Toa Payoh -> Orchard -> YCK. Went Yishun for my 3 hours straight tuition, then Toa Payoh to collect my new nerdy specs (but I like it!! And I only paid $48 for that!! haha...good bargain!!), then Orchard for some trial service and some shopping before heading home. Thou the tuition classes last for 3 hours, it was fun! I enjoyed tutoring this family - the young sec 1 gal and her mama. It was really interesting to teach the mama mandarin. Heez.. Probably I should switch job to become a tutor instead. Haha... Wait long long bah, definitely not now....maybe many years later!
I think I've spent really alot recently. So stressed up that I've been on a shopping & spending therapy these few days. Bought specs, clothes, bag, shoes. Spent 30 bucks for dinner yesterday. WAH!!! So sinful, especially when I'm going Taiwan soon. Okok....gotta tone down liao, so packed lunches for next week should help me tone down on my spending. Less entertainment. Shall spend my subsequent weekends nuaing / msn at home (since it's free!!! Or at least I'm not paying for the water & electric bill mah. Only paying for the broadband, which gives unlimited access!!! Muahahah)

Self control, SELF CONTROL!!!!

心烦的日子

她：“你寂寞吗？”

我心想：这句话好熟悉，好像在哪儿听过。哦，对了！这不是那些1900热线爱用的开头语吗？ 别误会！我可不是拨了那热线。Ah Von 一大早就问了我这个问题。

我：人难免会有感到寂寞的时候。尤其是当你发现周围的人都 attached了，而你却独自一个人的时候，这种感觉就更强烈。

我反问她：“你很寂寞吗？还不快去找个伴？”
。。。。。。
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在上班的路上，我边看Today,边想：Ah Von 也不小了。是时候找个伴了。总觉得她近来有些心烦。或许是工作压力还有刚生了一场病吧，心情似乎不是很好。 Haiz,其实我也好不到哪儿去。近来因工作的deadlines一个接着一个地来，上头又逼得比较紧，so 蛮 stressed 的。这也造成了我的脾气变得比较暴躁，胃口也变得不好。 有时也想：难道找个伴就不寂寞了吗？无论如何，我不希望自己为了要填补空虚或寂寞而找个伴。这对我，对我或对他都是不公平的。*Sounds so novel,yah?* Haha... 我也不希望因为 peer pressure 而随随便便地找一个伴。这只会搞得自己不开心，更糟的是害人害己啊。 不知道为何，近来朋友总爱 set me up. 我总是被带去一些聚会，有介绍一些男生给我认识。令我觉得他们要把我给“卖掉" 似的。我知道我已经23岁了，虽然说小也不小了，但也不老啊？Why is it that 他们比我还急呢？真是好笑。我知道他们是因为关心我才这麽做的，但是这会被误会成我很 desperate 的。;'( 对于感情，我相信缘分。或许是过去的经历，也可能是缘分未到吧，我对感情事是看得很开的。就算是“孤苦伶仃”地过下半辈子，我也不觉得有太大的问题。或许是我的个性较独立 （有人叫这“孤僻”！ Haha）, 有时爱独来独往，但也觉得蛮快乐的。所以，朋友们，不要为我担心，我并没有对人生，ok, 还有男人，放弃。Wahaha.... 只不过至少在这个时候，这还不是在我人生最重要的事吧。

Over-reaction

The weather is getting hotter and more humid these days. The same goes for my mood and blood pressure - kept rising. Probably the hot weather does contribute a little to these, but I guess it's the stress that I'm facing both at work and in private. Too many things are running, and probably in all directions, making me quite frustrated. I've became very quarrelsome and easily agitated too. Probably PMS, or menopause??!!

I know that gives me no reason to over-react and get angry over a small issue. As a result, I felt really bad after the incident and did not sleep well last nite coz I know that I've frightened my friend tremendously. So sorry about it. But rest assured that our 13 years of friendship is definitely not so fragile and I can hardly tahan to be angry fro >24hrs. That's so bad for health,isn't it? Already getting old, how can I speed up the rate of ageing?

Went for my dental appointment today. Now the rubber rings have been changed from purple to blue. Haha... at first the dentist's assistant offered me pink (ya, not again!), which my colleagues say the colour sucks! I asked her to get me another colour and she got me dark blue. Not bad, still like the purple ones thou. Saw the light pink ones,shall try those next time. Haha...

2 more weeks to the end of my agony as I should be finishing up my project by then. Hate upscaling, boring & tedious! 2 more weeks to Taiwan trip too! HOORAY!!!

Nothing better to do so try this out. Pretty true leh. ;-)

Your Five Variable Love Profile
Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is low.You've probably either had only one relationship..Or all of your relationships have been very similar.You still have a lot to learn... and a lot to try!

Dominance:

Your dominance is low.This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.You know a relationship is not about getting your way.And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is medium.You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.

Independence:

Your independence is high.You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love.Having your own life is very important for you...Even more important than having a relationship.

New Year Resolutions....

HAPPY 2006, EVERYONE!!! Oppz.. think my greetings come a little late, we are already one week into the new year. But anyway, it's better to be late than never, isn't it?? ;-)

Well, many friends have asked me about my resolutions for the new year. I guess every year I simply have too many resolutions and I'm too lazy to list them all down too. Haha... But I've given a good thought (hmm...not so good afterall ;-p) over it & here's my resolutions for Year 2006, Year of DOG!!! That's my year manz!!! But it oso means that I'm 24 year old this year (thou I've passed my 23 b'dae for barely 1 month!)

1. To be a healthier and happier person.

Well, it doesn't mean that I've been an unhealth and unhappy person in year 2005. But I was kinda worried about my health (& my family's too!) last year and had gone for numerous checkups. Sigh.. Hope to stay healthier and of course I gotta start my exercise regime of jogging & swimming after this rainy season. *wink* Well, I think I've been a pretty optismistic person, hope to keep this up and live happier in 2006. This wish of mine is extended to all my family and friends too! ;-)

2. To have a nice set of sparkling teeth.

Well, I guess this is not my short term goal, gonna take another 2 years at least to see the results. Oh, for those who didn't know, I've just gone for orthodontic treatment and my brackets have just been put on today! Sigh... wanna purple bands but the dentist has already picked pink ones for me. Nvm, still nice & a sweet pink. ;-p Think I look like a little gal with the braces on. Haha...funny looks, luckily it wasn't painful when she puts the wire and brackets on. So next time when I take pics can't smile with my mouth too widely open (thou I like to smile that way all the time..sob...)

3. To value-add on my job, with better performance.

Well, after working for 1 odd years, I do feel pretty slacked at work sometimes. But I'm determined to perform better at work this year, use more of my brain to think and to work more efficiently. Hope to excel and another CSP to hit by end of the year!!!

4. To travel to more places overseas.

Yes! Hope to explore more countries this year, thou I have limited fund to spare. Already got a trip on schedule, which is my Taipei trip in March! So excited!! But I've been too busy to do any planning, seem to leave most of the iternary planning to my sis.. Haha...Ok, I'll start doing some research soon. Wanna a more exploratory, scenic trip rather than shopping trip for this year. So this year I'm focused on exploring the less urbanised regions in Taiwan but gotta think of the convenience too. Hope to hop onto some island (BEACHES!!! I LOVE THEM!!!) for a relaxing holiday too. ;-p

5. Planning for Post-graduate Studies

Well, I've mentioned this to quite a couple of friends that I feel like furthering my studies. But I know that I can only do this in about 2 years time coz I need to save $$ for that (unless I'm lucky to get a scholarship) and coz I gotta fulfil my bond before I can study. But still not too sure what type of course I'll take up, either research or coursework. Well, not sure if I'll do all the way to PhD. Haiz...too many things in mind, guess I'll just look around 1st before making a decision.

Interesting Morning of wet-marketing ;-)

Today I got up super duper early (6+am, around the same time as my working days but today is Saturday!!!), thou I only slept at 2am yesterday. Why??? Today I'll be hosting a steamboat dinner at my place, having it with Yu & Qing & of course my family!!! Yoz...So excited!! But gotta do some wet-marketing to get all the food ready for tonite! ;-)

Wow, the market was already pretty packed with people (kiasu aunties!!!) at 7+am. Being young and a shortie among the crowd was pretty disadvantageous to me. Coz I'm not as experienced as the KS aunties to fight for attention from the sellers. All I can do was to wait patiently and queue for my turn to get everything packed. *I'm such a "law-abiding" young singaporean!!* LOL

Thank goodness. The veg seller auntie has longed recognised me, coz she knows my mama. Always call me "xiao mei", haha....feel so young manz... Haha...So i do get some priority in getting my things packed (and also not to get cheated by them!!). ~Smilez~~

I then went over to the butcher to get the pork rib for making the steamboat soup base. Aiyoz, so many people crowded round the pretty butcher auntie, so I thought she's showing some stunts or what. Poor butcher auntie, she was surrounded by some "desperate housewives"! Oh, thse housewives are not like those in the reality show 'Desperate Housewives', crazy & yearning for new love. Rather, those that I've seen were desperate to buy the "prettiest" piece of pork! Scary manz, I saw not just 1, but 3 of them entering the butcher auntie's chopping area, and watching her every chop & cut. That's so stressful for the butcher auntie. *If I were the butcher auntie, I'll wave my chopper at those desperados!! Haha* I'm a violent gal!!!

I think those aunties are nuts. Looked like they were afraid that the butcher will cheat them of their pork or what. I think these aunties dunno Sg rules. Didn't queue somemore. Luckily the butcher auntie was very fair. She ignored the cut-queue auntie and came over to serve me. Wahaha... Haiz...acutally i hate pork le, I don't really eat pork coz I think it has a weird smell and I find pig (real ones) quite disgusting. Haha...but no choice, my mama said that using pork ribs to make soup is better. So I follow... ;-)

I also bought quite alot of yong tau foo ingredients, but I'm still afraid that those are not enough for my pals. But only 2 of them coming... Haha.. So I'm a kiasu person too. Hope I won't turn into a "desperate housewife" like those I've seen.. ;-p

Bought half a watermelon for after-dinner. All by myself and it's so heavy!!! But ok, still managed to carry all home. Hehe...

At last got to talk to my sis. Maybe it's the breakfast which I've bought. Hehe~~ *Happy* But still unhappy about what she said to mama... So hurting... ;-(

It's pouring heavily now, and that Fish still not here yet!!! aRGhhh....Super ultra late QUEEN!!!! I'm almost done with all the preparatory work & she's still not here... ;'(

Ok, beta go & bathe before she arrives. Happy New Year and have fun people!!! ;-)

Can't Get to Sleep... La la la... ;-(

I can't get to sleep now!! I've offended a friend!! Sob, sob. Not that I didn't know that she can take no jokes, all I have to blame is my stupidity and bluntness. But it's also today that I truly know and undertand her tolerence for jokes - NO JOKES FOR HER. I shall zip up my mouth from now on. ;'(

It's really meant to be a joke, and I really wasn't trying to be disrespectful, not even laughing at her or anything (I dun see the link between saying her more 'hei xin' than me as laughing at her. Well, unless her heart is really 'hei'. Sorry, but I know it's not).

Sigh, life is so tough, pleasing people is even tougher... HELP, HELP!!!

JC 1st 3 Mths' mates' Get Together

Lazy day...wanna get up early for a swim before heading to bank to settle some stupid stuff & put the metal bands around my molars, but just slept & slept... SUPER ULTRA LAZY!!! Okok, tomorrow gotta make an effort to hit the pool or the running track. Too much sinful indulges recently, need workouts!!!

Felt uncomfortable with the metal bands in mouth as they kept rubbing against my tongue and cheeks when I'm talking and eating. Well, probably a good way to make me talk less and eat less. Somehow, I've became pretty talkative and crappy ever since I started working. Haha..gossipy too. OOpz...

A pretty busy and stressful week at work, where things that should not but might happen had happened. A terrible mistake but luckily not really our fault, more of a third party's fault. That's a big relief coz I've been so worried the nite before the completion of the investigation and I didn't sleep well. Scared that I'm the one causing the big blunder, but luckily it wasn't. PHEW...

Had a X'mas dinner with my colls yesterday evening. Dinner was ok, but guessing who bought whose present was fun. Lots of laughter and joy. I love the blue stone necklace I receive from WL. Wow, very nice!! Already started wearing it today. Hehe... It's alot more fun & meaningful to draw a person's name before buying the exchange present. At least the present can be more customised (so-called). Everyone seems to be in high spirit this month! That's why I like december so much. Furthermore, my birthday falls in this month too. Haha...

Today went out for dinner when zhen,sze,ade,xiao ma & lao ma. Went changing appetite again. Pretty hungry coz I didn't manage to take my lunch,so tried eating the main dish. Haiz...hard a tough time eating the food,thou I've ordered grilled dory fish which is in fact pretty soft. Took a long time to finish most of it (the waitress kept threatening to take it away from me ;-( )

Great pals! They know me well, got me what I want. Heehee~~ Love the world of sports voucher they got me. Thanks so much!! Now I can get another set of swimwears or a pair of trackshoes. Yeah~~

Didn't really shop much thou there's a late nite shopping at cityhall since everyone was tired. Well,i'm still very awake coz I took an afternoon nap. Haha... Nice catching up session cum 2 belated bdae celebrations - lao ma's & mine.

Tmr accompanying ah ma's to do her hair cum xmas shopping. Oopz...haven check out the exact location!!! Ok,beta do some checking 1st. Nitez, all...

Bdae part III

Back to work again...Monday blues, of course. Seems like a no-rest weekend and it passed so quickly! Feeling really lathargic, but still gotta work.

Expected that my colleagues were up to no good today (as usual!). OMG! They got me a photo cake with my stupid ang ku kuey (chinese dessert) face on it. Alemak!! It looks disgustingly good!!! Think it's really funny to have your own pic on your cake. What's worse is that you gotta cut your own face up, or I should describe it as self-disfiguration! Cunning colls I have. They were so happy eating my face up. haha... I think it's funny too. And definitely a memorable one. But really thankful to my colls, for always giving me such bdae surprises. Haha...

Too tired, knocking out soon..Blog again... ;-p

Tired Tired... But's it's an Enjoyable Day!

Back to my blogsphere again! Have been away from the virtual world for so long, now I'm so enthusiastic about blogging again! So I shall blog, blog & blog... til I drop. Haha.. Afterall, my B'dae celebrations have yet ended, so got lotz of things to share. Hehe

Ya, mentioned in my earlier blog that I was supposed to settle some X'mas gifts today. But, feeling too lazy and having the strong urge to laze at home, I decided to postphone my X'mas gift shopping to next weekend. Very last minute, rite?? But I was really lazy to get out of my house. Spent the entire afternoon lazing around at home, wrapping my co's xmas party exchange gift. Well, I've bought a belt, since it's for a guy, somemore he's those sort of prim and proper guy, can't really get him anything funky (well, at 1st wanted to get him sugar-coated camel nuts since he loves them, but decided not to as I dun want to carry $15-worth of peanuts to the dinner. Haha). So I think the belt is still the best, suits him well, and it's practical. Thou my coll said that it's too personal, I think it's fine. Rather than getting him some ornaments which will end up like white elephants. Excited!! This Friday's will be the xmas dinner! But the dinner is going to burn a hole in my pocket, aroung $50 for the buffet. What's even not worth the price is having a teethless gal at the buffet. LUGGI manz!!

Oh, back to my activities for the day. Eventually, I still drag myself to Orchard to meet my friend for dinner. Both of us had lasagne and luckily I was still able to chew it. Haha.. They served pretty good lasagne, really worth going again! Hmm....can't quite remember the name of the restaurant, think it's called Spageddies, which is at paragon. That's a bdae treat from my friend. Thanks so much!!

We then went on to walk along orchard road to see the xmas lightings. Hmm...didn't find it very attractive this year, but still, it was a nice walk down the streets. Wanted to go Tanglin mall area, hoping to catch some sights of the artificial snowing. Along the way, we saw some nice photo exhibition. The pics were really great! Probably coz we love the natural landscapes so much, think we ended up spending an entire hour admiring the pics. Well, the pics are like those you can see in national geog, I can't help but marvel at the fantastic work of nature. Was impressed by 1 pic which showed a naturally formed heart-shaped island. Amazing, rite?? That's the beauty of nature I guess. By the time we are done with the pics, it was already 11+pm. Time to head home manz... So tired, it's consecutive 4 days of late nites and I'm feeling weary. But still, we had a great time stroding down the road and looking at the pics. Hope I'll get a chance to travel to those exotic & scenic places soon!

Planning for a treetop walk, but will be quite busy in the next few weeks...sigh... ;-(

23 Years & 1 Day Old

I'm 23 already!! Wow, so fast, another year has passed. But glad to say, this year has been a revolutionary year for me - many happenings and changes to my life. Of course many unhappy things too, which have brought my mood & emotion on a rollar coaster ride, and I guess I'm still suffering a little from the after effects. But things have definitely been alot better that a few weeks back. Hope I'll be 101% back to my normal self soon!! ;-)

Phew! At last the 3-day long conference is over!!! Nearly died of boredom then! Some talks were really boring and my mind just wandered off (& never come back!! Haha). It's a eye-opening experience thou, having the chance to meet those fantastic chemists. I do wonder if I can be as outstanding as them... But the thought was always dampened. OMG, I only got a bachelor, how to get such acheivement like them?? Will some kind soul give me an overseas scholarship?? I yearn for that, but I doubt I'll get the chance. ;'(

Yesterday Ah Bao delivered a cake to my doorstep. Wow, I'm so touched, thou it's just a slice of cake but it's the thought that really counts, isn't it?? Nice delicious cake, dunno if i'm able to eat it anot coz I dun want the peanuts to stuck to my gums. So the cake is still lying in my fridge. Haha

Mnay people have been asking me what are my bdae wishes this year. Truthfully, I've been too busy with work & conference these few weeks, hardly have the time for a good rest, let alone thinking about my bdae wishes. Guess another typical wish I have is that my family & friends to remain healthy and happy. I think it's really important after going through and seeing many unhappy things this year. On a personal note, I shall keep my other wishes undisclosed. Wahaha...

But it seems like many of my friends and colleagues made a wish for me instead. All of them can't wait to sell me off the shelf! But why?? 23 yrs old only, I'm still young, rite??haha.. Well, know that they are concerned and I'm thankful for that. But I simply feel that r/s isn't something that one can rush into. Not to say that I'm picky or anything, but it's still not my upmost priority now. My colleagues were even commenting that I look so different at work & at social functions. Aiya, of course, working in lab need no formal or nice dresses since I gotta put on a labcoat over what I wear and I dun want to contaminate my nice clothes. So basically I prefer to dress casual, in t-shirt and jeans at work. But their comments made me think that I dress really ugly at work. OMG!! But anyway, who cares, I'm there to work & not to fashion-show and there isn't any nice guys around. Wahaha.. ;-p

Interestingly, those colls of mine even asked me to start dressing up & putting make-up to work to attract the opposite sex. OMG!! I think that sounds crude and makes me like a desperado. Anyway, I want someone who's attracted by my character not looks, that's too superficial, isn't it?? furthermore, putting on make-up to work is a no-no since I work in a chemical lab. That's too dangerous and I think it's bad for skin too. Haha

Ok, back to my celebration yesterday. Besides attending the conference and indulging in the buffet lunch then skipping the entire afternoon's talks just to nap at home, I attended MayDay's concert. It was fantastic, with the exception of the poor sitting arrangement. Well, it's a pretty flat arrangement so basically I can mainly see the heads infront of me given my height. Haha...That's the problem when you don't get the most expensive seats. But i still prefer to watch concerts at SIS, sitting arrangement is way better than yesterday's. Rock band's concert was really fun. We even stood on our seats but were later chased down by the security. Stupid Idiot!!Such flat sitting arrangement, who can see?? i should have brought a ladder there. Haha

Haven't been blogging for so long and now I feel that I got so much to blog about. But I gotta go out to fix the Xmas presents and meet my friend for dinner. Will blog again some time soon!!! ;-0

We've grown up!

Phew...managed to accomplish my assigned tasks in time (still keeping my fingers crossed on 1 last thing thou, gotta wait til tomorrow before I know the outcome, so praying hard now ;-) ). Basically I've rotted in the office for the entire day, felt more bored than happy. Rotting is worse than having a crazily busy schedule. Believe me!!!

But today is still a happy day. I'm proud of myself that I managed to get hold of the precious moments cards for my coll's ROM. Well, not easy to get them, ok? Coz due to overwhelming response, the shops no longer carry the cards, & the person even told me that I gotta wait til X'mas. Luckily I emailed the smrt person in time & she has the last set left. So she sold it to me. Wahaha...So happy!! Hope my coll will be happy to receive the gift too. ;-)

Just a while ago, I was chatting with a pal about work life. I guess no one really likes to work (or probably I'm the only nutcase who would rather work than rot??!!) In fact, I think the problem doesn't really lie with whether you are working or not. More correctly, I think the nature of your job, your colls & of course, your boss, matter alot. But I've told her that life consists of vicious cycles. At the least, you see that one gotta work hard (to earn more $$) so that he can afford to play hard (which costs $$). Just like the demand & supply curves (recall: My can't-make-it econs in JC...ahaha) So I should be thankful to have a bunch of fun,crazy colls to laugh & share woes with. ;-p

Hmm...got an urge to become a farmer when I retire... Think it's so nice to plant your own crops, harvest them & enjoy the fruit of your hard work. Thou it's yet another vicious cycle, but well, isn't life full of this sort of cycles?? Birth always follow by death, and the cycle just continues...

The world is not going to pause/stop for anyone. It's has been tasked to move on for the lives of so many people on Earth. So we shouldn't stop and keep moaning over setbacks/unhappiness. ;-)

An Ordinary Yet not too Ordinary Sunday...

An ordinary yet not too ordinary Sunday....

Today is yet another boring day... Tuition has been cancelled, no dates, nothing... Just rotted around, lazing at home.

Went downstairs to get some groceries in the afternoon and I met this little boy in a provision shop. Guess what he said?? "Auntie, excuse me..."

I'm like, huh??? What??!!! Auntie??

So I've been promoted from a jie jie to an auntie already! Ok, fine... as I gave way to this little boy, I happened to knock into him. BUT... it was UNintentional. For sure, I didn't mean to hit him, it was a pure accident (believe me). Thank goodness that he didn't cry, if not his parents will think that I'm bullying their son just because he called me an auntie. Time is running out! I'm becoming an auntie... Sob sob...But, what's the definition of auntie?? Is there an age range for one to be addressed as an auntie?? I continue to ponder....

Well, such a minor "setback" did not haunt me for the rest of my day. Glad to go for a jog in the evening, feeling real great sweating out. ;-)

However, my quite nice Sunday was disturbed by some "ge tai" near my place. Oh my god! I thought that the ghost month is over, or has the clock turned back??Having a ge tai right below my block is damn annoying. I hate it!! I regretted that I didn't cast my vote to support my dad & sis in getting a KTV set for my home. If not I'll be blasting back at the Hokkien ge tai right now!!

Happy Friday...

Ooops...have been too busy, or rather too lazy to update my blog. Feeling tired now (as usual), so will keep this entry short.

So happy that it's Friday again! A good week, since boss is not in town & my coll and I left at 5pm (instead of 5.30pm) today. Haha~~ Infact, our boss has "approved" this, since he said that we've been working hard. He's quite a nice boss afterall, except for his bad habits, but that's his health,not mine. Wahaha~~

Went for a dip in the pool after work, good workout, but still polishing up my freestyle strokes. Sigh...tough manz... but tmr gonna swim with Jac in the morning again. So happy!! ;-)

At Last! Teambuilding @ Batam is Over!!!

Yoz, I'm back from co's teambuilding at Batam! In general, I think the whole event was good, had pretty much fun. Maybe I should talk about the activities we did for the last 1.5 days on this extreme corner of Batam Island, Turi Beach Resort.

Everyone was excited as we make our way to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal from Biopolis yesterday. I was excited too, but feeling a little stressed as I was one of the committee members. Gotta organise and settle the transport thingy and unluckily, got a transport company with poor service. Sigh... Pretty frustrated with the person in-charged. ArgHH!!! Anyway, that will come later.

There was a slight drizzle on our way,but thank goodness, it's just a passing shower. Hehe~~ Everything was going fine, and we then board the ferry, called "Golden Raider", to Batam. Ermm...its name sounds great, but in actual fact, it's a small,old boat lar,not a cruise ship. Haha.. Met lots of "uncles & aunties" there. Hey, don't get mistaken, I dunno them. Heard that these people would board those casino cruise when they reach Batam. Oh manz, SINGAPOREANS!!! Think it's a disgrace... ;-(

We did a couple of adventurous activities at Batam, which include trekking, abseiling and paintball. Muddy (my shoe fell into the mud water!! Yucks!!!), dirty, sweaty, but really fun!! Like abseiling the most, though I got a few scratches, but it's really fun, though scary at 1st. My team only got 3 guys, all the quiet sort. Ya,so I've expected that we won't win the games. Yes, truly, it's as expected. Haha... But it's ok, so long as we have fun, rite?

Yesterday's BBQ dinner at the Island bar was simply great! Like the ambience alot. But then, our director joined our table, haha~~A table of gals, he's the only thorn. Not that we don't welcome him, just feeling a bit out of place, no idea what to chat about. But I really appreciate his effort in trying to forge a good relationship with the RAs. I would really say that he's a great man. Luckily we had a good reason to excuse ourselves as soon as we had finished dinner. One of my colls actually fell sick after the trekking, so Hui & I packed some food for her and delivered to her room. She had diarrhoea, then kept vomitting. Poor gal! In the end, we got to call a doctor to come in from Batam's town (about an hour's drive) who then gave her a jab. Felt really fortunate to be here, in S'pore. Everything is within reach all round 24 hrs. We even got quite abit of difficulties finding sour plum for my coll (who felt really naseous then). The best the hotel could provide me was lemon. Coz the trainer told them to find something sour. Haha...I nearly laughed my head off then, but I was glad that I didn't. Afterall, I guess they don't quite get it why chinese likes sour plum. Haha~~ Good thing that my coll's feeling better now, though still pretty weak. But she missed out on the fun today.

Today's return ferry was bad, though it was again the "Golden Raider".There were so many people trying to board the ferry. Worse than yesterday, today there's lots of aunties & uncles and I nearly got squashed (I'm short!! Sigh...). Luckily my kind coll, like a big bro, made way for me to board, of not I think I'll never get to hop onto that ferry. Haha~~But still, no seats left in the airconed area, got to sit at the non-airconed area, which was supposedly the smokers' area. WAD??!! Yesh, I nearly suffocate to death during my 30 mins ferry ride. Suffocating, screaming in silence as a passive smoker. Only one word to describe - UNBEARABLE. What worsen my mood was that that poor-service transport company called up to tell me that the bus which's supposed to pick us up at 4pm had broken down on its way. So we gotta wait til 4.30pm (AT LEAST!!!) for it to arrive. In the end, it reached at 4.45pm. The bus supposed to be catered for 40 people,in the end only 10 odd took the bus. Most people were to tired to wait for it to come,so they took a cab back instead. Haiz... Failed mission...So sad...

Ok,gotta wash my stinky, muddy shoes & yucky clothes, then time for bed. Nitez.... Sorrie...wad a long entry...Hehe~~

Another Day @ SGH

Wasn't able to do much stuff this week due the the series of lectures and meetings. Arghh...sigh..it's even more tiring to attend such stuff than working in the lab. I was dozing off for more than half of the time. ;-(

Went to SGH this afternoon to do some lung test. Haha~~ Super fast! Only took 5mins, went in early, so the whole process ended at 2pm (My appointment supposed to be @ 2pm). Stupid us! Should have gone in for the test much earlier then, there's basically no patients! We arrived at around 12.30pm, both of us were very tired, typical coffee addicts, coz we weren't supposed to take any caffeinated drink today before the test, therefore we took a nap at the outpatient clinic. Poor gals, rite?? Slept on the hard chairs, like 2 homeless gals, slept for an hour odd, til the crowd in the clinic was gone. Haha~~

though the test ended early, we decided not to head back to office, went home instead. Too tired, but happy that we can go back home for a nap. A rare chance. Guess when we start officially, life is not going to be so relaxing and easy.

Sigh,my last report to be done. Gotta finish by tonite coz won't have time to do on the weekends. Yeah!! Weekends!!!

Trip To SGH & Charlie & Coco Fac

Today was a pretty good day coz only got to work for half a day. Heehee~~ Got time-off to go for a pre-employment medical checkup at SGH in the afternoon. Sigh, the checkup was unlike the one I had last year at Raffles, it was so much more disorganised. My coll & I gotta re-queue for the different tests and it's so troublesome. In the end, the whole checkup took up a solid 2.5hrs to complete. Hmm... It appeared to be pretty stressful to work under a doctor, as from what I've observed. The executive who's supposed to take care of "VIPs" like us got reprimanded by the doc just because we came in earlier than the appointment time. Well, I don't think it's the executive's fault, probably the doc is scolding me indirectly. Isit wrong to be early for any appointment?? I thought most people would have done the same as me. I told the doc that I can go out & wait til my appointment time before seeing her, but...aiyoz, really feel sorry for the poor executive. ;-(

To think of it, it has been a good 13 years since I last stepped into SGH. 13 years ago, I was only 10 years old. Time flies....Back then, I had to make frequent trip to SGH with my parents to visit my ill grandma. I used to envision working in a hospital setting. Hmm...no idea why. Haha...but I've not really thought of becoming a doc (don't dare to dream of that), maybe just feel that it's a great place, where lives are saved, though not always successful.

Ok, back to my checkup, had 3 tubes of blood drawn & a jab. Ouch, my arm still aching after the jab. Blood withdrawal was "fun" as you see the tubes being filled up. Haha...think I sound crazy!! But the sight of blood didn't fear me. My coll was so terrified that she didn't even dare to look during the blood drawing. Haha...how is she going to be a nurse (she said she wanna switch to become a nurse!!)?? So many tests to undergo (still got to go back next week for spirometry & urine tests! Hope to get time-off again) and the results will only be out in a month's time. Frankly speaking, I do have some fear. Fearing that any results might turn out negative. Nervous!! The doc was surprised that we are handling so much lethal chemicals!! Sounds bad, I got scared by her too. Start to get more concerned with my health, and now, I'm even considering of switching line. But, my contract has been signed, guess will only switch line a few years done the road then (provided I'm still alive!).

At last! I managed to catch my Charlie & Coco Factory with my old pals (ermm...plus my friend's friend) tonite. So cool, have not watch any movie with them for donkey years!! A pity that 1 of our gang members has watched it, so no choice but to abandon her..Sorry, big bird... ;-(

On the overall, I think the show was ok, not as good as what I've expected, so not worth the $9.50. But interestingly, choco scent filled the entire theatre! Smart people! They were trying to capture the vision, hearing and smell of viewers!! Hmm...another sense that's missing - taste. Why not provide us with some chocolate bars?? Haha...

So tired after the show. Already 12+am by the time I get home. Yawn, yawn...time for bed. Sweetie dreamz...

An Unlucky Morning

Yesh! Today I'm on leave, to enjoy a long weekend. Initially, I have planned to go for a splash at the swimming pool with my friend. However, due to unforseen circumstances, we had to change our plan to playing badminton instead.

So tired after yesterday's outing that I slept til 9.45am this morning. Luckily my friend had changed the meeting time to 10am instead of 9.30am, had a good 11hrs of sleep. Hehe~~ The weather looked good at 1st - bright and sunny. A perfect day for an outdoor badminton game. But, the weather these days is sooOO UNPREDICTABLE!!! It started with a drizzle the moment we arrived at the badminton court!!! Sighz... nvm, we thought that it should just be a passing shower. Unexpectedly, the rain got heavier and heavier, then stopped for a while, and started to pour again. Faintz~~ Ok, fine, at least we had a good chat then, about relationships, about how unpredictable guys are (just like the weather??). After chatting for a good 45mins, we thought of proceeding to the CC for the game instead, but it started to pour again, much heavier than earlier on. I was like, "Eh, can't be so suai, rite?? No luck to swim, then no luck to play badminton too??!!" By then it was almost 11am, if we play the game for another 2hrs, Jac, might have to rush for her next appointment. So we proceeded to AMK central for lunch.

Actually, I was still too full for lunch, though the herbal chicken at AMK central is nice. Sorry to disappoint Jac, she can't have her herbal chicken b'coz of me. I was too full to share it with her. But sure she can finish lar, I need to go on diet. Unlike her, so envious of her! ;-(

Wah, did I offend anyone recently?? Felt cursed. On our way back after lunch, I was nearly knocked down by a Yakult van while crossing the road. Well, saw the green man light while crossing, and the van just made a turn at the bend. Hey, driver, don't you know that you gotta let the pedestrans cross 1st??? I was too shocked to react then, luckily my friend grabbed me. That was close, the van was just centimetres away from me,ok?

In the short time span of two odd hours, I can already feel the suainess! Or isit **Jac who brought me the suainess??** Ahaha~~ Have never felt as unlucky as today. Was even afraid that the crows' shit might land on my head on my way back. Guess I should stay at home for the day and give my boxercise class a skip then. Haha~~

Mood Is Up Again... ;-)

Yesh!! The long-waited-for hols is here!! Wow, a long weekend indeed, coz I've self-declared Monday as a non-work day. Well, I took leave, of course.

After an update of my lousy mood in my previous blog entry, my mood boosted and has gone back to normal since yesterday, since it's Friday & it marked the start of my long weekend. Lotz of programmes for this break, making me excited!!!

Yesterday had wonderful dinner date with an old, JC friend. Well, we bumped into each other a couple of times on the streets. But have yet met for a meal for almost 2 years. The chat was a long, but great one. Recounting the fond memories we held, updating each other about our present life and upcomings. Coolz~~ Though our dining place was not a posh, expensive restaurant but just a foodcourt (Well, nice name for the Marina's food Loft, nice open space facing the Singapore River, great view & atmophere but food SUCKS!!), the company I had was simply great on a Friday evening. So much of catching up to do, the nite was just not enough!

Today I went KTV with another group of friends to celebrate Min's b'dae. No idea,not in the singing mood today. Was basically focusing on dedicating the songs, feeding myself with the keropoks & drink. Just wanna sit back & listen to my friends' singing today. Haha~~ As well as entertaining my friends with my nonsense. ;-)

Wah...I wanna go on a trip to some beach resort / island during my 1 week of unemployment in Sept. Discussed with my pals, but some appeared paranoid & fearful, coz it's still the 7th month, which is the Hungry Ghosts' Festival. Oh my gosh! Why isit that even the younger generations are so superstitious?? I am a typical Science grad who believe in logic and proven facts. Well, I used to believe in such things too,but as I grow, I get less convinced by these superstitions. Same for religion, I've lost the faith in what I may be used to believe in when I am younger. That's why I declare myself as a freethinker now. Perhaps the "multi-religion" I've seen in my family has significantly shaped my thinking and made me ponder over what's my faith. Anyway, that's a bit side-tracked... Haha...I wanna go snorkelling, sunbathing...That's what I look forward to for so long. I'm going to try my best to convince my friends to go... Ahaha...

How's My Day?? BAD....

My mood took a nosedive today. Not quite a good day at work. Early this week, things seemed to flow pretty well, but today, everything appeared to go against the flow. Sigh, my reactions not going well, or maybe it's because I've not done well enough. Feeling really tired this week, no idea why. These two days I needed 2 coffee each day.. Bad, bad... But glad that my boss is kind, he has been patient with me, going through my data and spectrum, analysing and explaining things to me. It's wonderful of him and the more I should work harder to prove my ability! Cheer up & Jia you!!!

Look forward to long weekend!! But sg is boring... What shall I do then???

YoHoHooO... My New BlogSkin

YoHoHooOO.... My new blog skin is up! This time round, I managed to get everything nicely set up in 2-3 hrs time. Wow!! Actually, I was lazy to do any major change to the code, furthermore, I'm a comp-IT idiot. But pretty satisfied with my new blog skin I have. Like the previous background music, so decided to retain it. It's such a nice song! Haha...& I managed to find the mp3, so now I can listen to it any time I want. Heehee~~

Had a good weekend, meeting up with friends, lazing around. Bought a pink Fila sling bag for my friend's bdae. Oh, I like it too! Though I prefer the yellow one, this bdae gal prefers pink colour. Haha... No idea why, think that pink seems to be the "in" colour now. So many friends having pink craze now. Wahaha...

Well, think I'm in a pretty good mood lately. Perhaps after weeks of emotional struggle and uncertainty over my job, and now, I see that everything is more or less settled, I feel more at ease and happier. Glad to receive my confirmation (at last!!). After nearly a year on this job, I would still say that I'm still happy and satisfied, both with the job and my colleagues. I defintely hope to achieve more in time to come!!

Decision Making

A decision-making day. Well, I got the weekend to think about it - to stay or go. But think I've already got an answer in mind. Just thinking over my long term goals and plans... HmM...

Ponder Ponder Ponder: Will I Still be a Research Chemist in a Few Years Time??

Yeah, today I was back to work. Getting sick was no fun - bored of the sleep-eat routine at home, can't go jogging or swimming. Sigh...Lonely... At least at work I'll get to move around, do things, and make myself feel useful.

Had a terrible ear block today, guess it's a result of my runny nose. I could barely hear well, so my colleagues gotta shout into my ears. Haha.. Nothing much to do today, my boss seemed busy at his desk. He looked quite haggard too, have not seen him for the past 4 days, and he seemed to have aged tremendously! Aha, he didn't shave again. Maybe my absence was the cause of it, coz his work piling up. OOpz..

Today's lunch topic was "Our Future". Sounds like a primary school english essay topic. But no, no... It's definitely not. My colleagues talked about how bad it is for women like us (well, I feel that I'm still a gal thou...wahaha) to work as organic chemist. Yes, I do agree that it's a high risk job. High risk, be it our safety or our health. That's definitely a long-term concerns. Working in this line for 10, 20 years is bad for sure. Thou many safety measures have been in place, there's no 100% safety or protection. Sigh... But I would say, as til now, I enjoy what I am doing. I dunno how long this will continue... I often question myself, "So what's next on my life plan?" I have many dreams and plans, but I have reservations as to how far I would go and how many of my dreams and plans I can fulfil.

My fellow colleague hope to move over to admin work in a few years time. Guess then, she'll be married with kids already. Hehehe... Many think that it's not good for women to stay in chemical line for too long... But I don't seem to have much plan to move over to other lines. Lost sheep now.I start to ponder over what my colleagues said.. So what will I be doing few years down the road??

My 1st & Only MC for the Past 1 Year

Was having a cough, flu & fever. My doctor granted me a 1 day MC. Wahaha... slept for the whole day, no Monday blue this week. But, my clean record of zero MC for the past 1 year is now stained... ;-(

On Leave or MC??

Yeah, I'm on leave today! So glad that at last I'm on leave again. But, on second thought, I could have gotten an MC instead, down with flu & cough now... Haiz,what a waste!

Anyway, made plans to go cycling with my sis but this 4ever-lazy-gal said wanna go shopping now. And the amount of time she takes to get herself prepared for the ECP cycle...sigh... from a sunny morning to a dark, cloudy afternoon. Cannot stand it...sigh...Our character going way apart as we grow...

Well, yesterday was a pretty good day, happy coz I got quite a number of compounds to submit for testing. Haha...at last! But sometimes felt that we RAs are just like surrogate mothers, "give birth" to the compounds, and the very moment they are "borned", our boss grabbed it away from us and we have not much access as to what happen to them after that. Haha...sounds pretty bad, as if we are just the production operators...

Yesterday had a great time laughing at my boss (IM SO BAD!!!!). Haha...why? Coz the equipment which he had so much faith in screwed up & really pissed him off. I saw his compound going down the drain... Quite bad,really...Sigh... That's why I refused to use the equipment regardless of how he persuaded me. In this case, I'm smarter than him...Ahhaa

I always feared him coming to talk to me either before lunch hour or before knocking off, he likes doing that! Yesterday he came to me when I wanted to go off again. Sigh... I got to run for my tuition. Sigh, saw him walking towards me when I was drinking water, and ended up wetting my blouse and he laughed like mad. Yupz, funny, told him that my mouth is too small, that's why.. Haha.. Well, I always got problem drinking water from my bottle properly... Why??? Quite embarrassing to be walking around in my wet blouse... Haha...

Alrite, going out soon. Hope it won't take me another month long before I blog again. Cheerioz~~

Eventful (??!!) Week!

This week has been a pretty "eventful" week. When I say eventful in "inverted commas", it definitely points out that it's not something good. Well, well, true enough, most of my recent blog entries did not contain much joyful content. I guess this entry is the worst. I would say that this week has been "exciting", with a series of unfortunate events...

Sigh, sigh... the she & he are off and to think she suspected that I'm the one whom he had consulted with regards to their breakoff... Haiz...Damn upset.. Coz the donkey years of friendship diminishes to pea size when it comes to love or friend. As a friend, I won't do such a thing of course! Be it I like the guy anot, coz I'll be more than happy to welcome a live-happily-ever-after kind of ending for my friends!

Very blur at work this week, stressed, busy, tired... Things seemed to go wrong, sometimes very wrong, and I get really pissed off with myself too! Spilled a portion of "potion-might-be", dissolved another of my "potion-might-be" in DMSO. Everything can only be described by one crude but irreplaceable word - SHITTY!! My pooh-boss's killing me for my stupidity. I guessed he's been shaking his head real hard, and thinking twice, maybe even thrice, about confirming me this coming August. Sigh... Yes, and indeed, this week he has to submit a review report on our progress and performance. Damn! Everything has been pretty well til this week. And why must our review be done this week??!!! But luckily, I had some new findings this week, which kept him busy (wahaha) but happy... coz he can show off to my big boss..

And, and...got some nonsense this week. But well, don't wish to mention much about it, gonna dissolve it in concentrated acid...Wahaha

Oopz... think as a result of my bad mood, I've upset a friend, sounded abit harsh that day. Really apologetic. Already apologised to him,but still felt bad about it. How??

Got a bad news today, an uncle of mine just passed away. Haiz...Life! This is the second death which I've heard within a month. First it was my coll's mum, then now it's my uncle. Yep, and it got my mum so upset. Life is short, chase your dreams!!

A sucky week! Bless me with a better tomorrow!

Saddened....

Yeah! I'm back from my Bangkok trip!!! Well, it was a pretty enjoyable trip, but don't like the weather, it's hotter than S'pore. Furthermore, their air seemed to be full of dust,dirt...YUCKY!! I can see the specks of dust/dirt (so black!!) when I clean my face. Well, on the overall, I didn't buy alot of stuff, mostly are for friends and family. Only 6 tops, 4 bags, 1 sandals, 1 earrings, and a cap for myself. Not alot rite (embarrassed)?? Haha...

Well, I was saddened by the death of my colleague's mum when I got back. It's really so sudden. Just 2 weeks ago, she brought her parents on vacation, and now she's gone. But luckily, my colleague is strong, she has be strong coz her dad needs her now. Being the only child isn't easy. Especially now, she has greater responsiblity to bear.

Yes, we should all treasure the people around us and don't take them for granted. Love them and show your care and concern before it's too late.

Sticky Gluey Friends??!!

One thing that pissed me off recently is the sudden appearance of long, lost friends (??!!) who started talking so nicely, as if they miss me so dearly (BLAH!), but eventually to realise that they have embarked on a sales career!! That's when they will start promoting their products, be it health supplements, which they claimed to be some miracle pills, or insurance. Sigh, that's life! Especially when you start working, you'll see such friends (??!!) contacting you out of the blue. In the first place, they are not even my close friends, just "hi-bye" friends and one of whom I've only met twice. It's really irritating!!! I would say that they have superb pestering skills, lots of patience and ultra thick skin! Haha... That's why I know that I'm not the cut for sales line, as I bear none of the virtues they possess.

Well, well, I'm not that hard-hearted. I do understand that it's their job, as the only way for them to survive is to target friends, and of course, it's usually easier to approach less close friends as even if it's going to sour the relationship, they'll be less concerned since we are no more than just "hi-bye" friends. But, I still feel, to a greater extend, that they quite fackos. Miss me?? Then they would have started contacting me years ago, why wait til now? Maybe they really miss me (which I remain sceptical about!), but the timing is really not right. Missing a not-so-close friend at this point in time doesn't sound convincing enough. Maybe they have exhausted the list of friends in his contact list and I look like the sort of easy target for him. But sorry, it's a NO NO. I'm not easily convinced or swayed, though I may look as if I am.

So anyone out there who's into MLM or selling insurance, you can forget about convincing me. Ahaha...

My Spider-webbed Blog

Yesh! Think my blog is spidered-webbed coz I've sort of abandoned it for > a month. Hmmm... seriously think that my life is boring, not much things to share about & my past posts are mostly on my work, and they were boring. Well, not going to dwell too much into my work this time, as again, there's nothing else but STRESS and tremendous STRESS. My hair greying, going nuts, besides nuts, going berserk maybe. But things are improving towards end of this week, finally more relaxed and calmer. Without my boss around, work seemed even more hectic and stressful.

Well, other than work, I've been feeling lousy these days. Ermm...not pms, but haiz, lotz of problems, things to think through, really hate it. This May is quite a tough month for me, really can't wait for my Bangkok trip!!!

Haha...but but, something to be happy about this month too. Happy for my dear friend. Maybe a tough decision for her, but I'm more than happy to kick her off the shelf and off my previleged club.

For my dear friend who may be reading my blog, here's for you:

Believe in yourself, ok? Don't be fickled-minded lar. Don't shift the pressure to me, you should know that I'm hopeless... Haha..